Comments on: Planning a Cheap Destination Wedding

By: riversconfluence

riversconfluence — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:41:59 +0000

I do not understand it. Trying to manage a wedding long distance, getting a flight, carrying all the wedding stuff on the plane, and after the ceremony, back on again. Making people who are supposed to be your family and friends do the same.
It would not surprise me to learn that it is a way to limit the guest list without hurting anyone’s feelings, they think. But it does hurt. People who do not have the money to go, and people like you, who would like to, and think it is ridiculous to go so far and spend so much money. And people, who did not get an invitation, who have figured out that they got eliminated from the guest list.
You have the option to say no, and your have the option to turn it into a holiday for yourselves..To decline, return the RSVP card, and mark will not attend. If the happy couple calls and asks why, your option to tell all of , or part of, the truth.
Bet they expect the un-invited to send a gift anyway. And by the way, do not bother buying a gift, the only acceptable gift is money. But that is an answer for another question!
Good luck.
PS, one of my friends wants to get married in the bahamas. It would be the happy couple, her three adult children and me. And she will be paying for it. That is a really cool idea. And I know her well enough to know that a big present[money] is expected, close to the amount that the trip is costing. and that is OK.
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By: Flea©

Flea© — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:39:59 +0000

Sounds like the couple doesn’t want a lot of guests at their wedding, or they would’ve did what they could to have some sort of presentation in their own area without making guests go out of their way. I don’t thnink a destination wedding reduces the guests without omitting them, because deposits on guest numbers must be made in advance, and that money goes whether the guest attends or not.
An aquaintance of mine couldn’t afford a full wedding, so they got married at City Hall, and had a lovely banquet reception at a later time. They had a much nicer party, and guests ended up giving them better wedding gifts!
It’s going to come down to your personal choice. How bad do you want to go, and do you have the means to do it? Once you make your decision whether to go or not, accept it without regret.
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By: luisa_mapacha

luisa_mapacha — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:37:59 +0000

Sometimes destination weddings are in order to reduce the number of guests, thereby reducing the costs even more.

But don’t underestimate the price of getting married in a metro-urban area. If you can even get the facility you want on the date you want, it could cost thousands of dollars. Caterers, flowers, etc are all much more expensive in the city.

Keep in mind also that the couple may be embarrassed they can’t afford a huge wedding, and her parents shouldn’t have revealed that to you.

Not attending out of spite is a childish way to behave. And how is your husband going to tell you what to do, when it’s your cousin?

Bottom line: this is the couple’s big day, NOT YOURS, and you should be grateful you have the financial means to attend. They can have their wedding wherever they please!
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By: Cammie

Cammie — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:35:59 +0000

Why not see this as an opportunity for a short vacation ? If you object, simply decline the invite. No reason is necessary.
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By: blueberrybalance

blueberrybalance — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 10:33:32 +0000

My cousin is planning a destination wedding and her parents revealed to us that it's cheaper than in our city.
I sympathize with the desire to save money, but feel a little irritated that their savings are basically being transferred into all the guests’ expenses. We all live in the same metro urban area so it’s not a matter of convenience for certain people who might not otherwise be able to go. My husband has already told me that we won’t go on principle. Despite all of the facts I would still love to witness this couple’s wedding.

I guess my question is two-fold. Are destination weddings a way to reduce the number of guests without actually omitting them from the guest list (an un-vitation)? And, what is the best way to decline when both families know the costs involved, although they will be high, are not an issue for us, we’re not afraid to fly and they are giving us plenty of notice so we can’t tell them we have other plans??