How can I encourage my fiance to be more actively involved in wedding planning?
November 18, 2009
I don’t expect him to micromanage every last detail but this is OUR day not MY day and I want him to have equal input. I want him to feel like this is our wedding and not just my wedding. I want it to display our style not my style.
He says he wants to be involved but when I ask him questions or try to bring up planning (which I infrequently do) he always says something like, "I don’t know," "What do you think," "Let’s talk about it later," etc.
Sorry, but that simply isn’t a guy thing.
As men, we could care less about the difference between mauve and taupe.
You need to enlist the help of your girlfriends or your parents in this stuff.
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11 Responses to “How can I encourage my fiance to be more actively involved in wedding planning?”
Hahah, I’m a guy and going through the same thing. Honestly, a lot of the details just aren’t that important to me. The location was though. I’m sure there’s aspects of the wedding that are important to him, but unforutnately you’ll have to just accept that us guys don’t care that much about weddings. I did enjoy the food tasting!
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By rklst9pitt on Nov 18, 2009
The previous poster is right, guys don’t care as much about the details as we do. I mean they do have things they want but I think as females we put a lot more into it than guys do. It’s not that they don’t care about the day, they just don’t pay as close attention to detail as we do.
And I do want to say I like what you said about it being BOTH of your day and not just YOUR day. That means you’ll be a good bride and there won’t be any bridezilla coming out of you where you have to control every single aspect. I wish you they very best of luck on your big day.
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By that one girl on Nov 18, 2009
Ask him what he cares most about. Then ask him to tell you what he wants for that element of the wedding. My fiance cared most about the food and the music — so he’s handling the music entirely (with minimal input from me because I trust that he’ll do a good job and I don’t really care) and the food was mostly up to him.
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By weirdiscomplimentary on Nov 18, 2009
My husband did the same thing. I wanted it to be our wedding and tried to get him involved. He didn’t seem to care so I just planned myself and passed along what I decided. The only thing he protested to was the cake I picked out so we both chose the cake. IT was kind of funny cause he didn’t seem to care about anything else but that. When the day finally came everything turned out beautiful and he thanked me for planning it all and not bothering him with al the details. Maybe your fiance is the same type of guy!
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By happyoo3 on Nov 18, 2009
I am have the same issue with my fiance, he says the same as the first post. We have argued about it because at first I thought it was because he just wasn’t that committed but, now I have realized that’s just a man. They don’t care about decor, flowers, dresses, colors. All mine cares about is that the site allows parties to go late, that we include his type music and that we have beer, oh and some food!!! LOL
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By bride2be on Nov 18, 2009
Dear one, isn’t it ironic that the majority of answers to your question say much the same thing – that guys just don’t care about things like the perfect shade of peach, or whether your gown should have crystal beads or silk roses?
Perhaps that should be a clue to all brides – that all those things they obsess over – are silly to begin with. Maybe it would be better if brides-to-be would simply be concerned about what their fiances are concerned about (a simple ceremony among a few friends and a really good meal, followed by private activities) – instead of a bizarre circus of events in the presence of strangers (guests the couple barely knows, followed by a long, drawn-out reception where they have to shake hands with those strangers, all the while wearing an uncomfortable suit of rented clothes).
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By Barbara B on Nov 18, 2009
Sorry, but that simply isn’t a guy thing.
As men, we could care less about the difference between mauve and taupe.
You need to enlist the help of your girlfriends or your parents in this stuff.
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By 4REEE on Nov 19, 2009
I know it’s a guy thing, my fiance says basically the same thing "I don’t care" he told me as long as we get married he is happy, but it’s frustrating to a point.
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By Ani on Nov 19, 2009
Since open ended questions aren’t working, try coming up with a limited number of selections within an area (such as flowers for centerpiece) and then tell him "ok…here’s some selections for you to choose between. I’m also open for suggestions". That gets his input, but at the same time, gives him an open to suggest something else.
Men don’t really like endless details, so try to limit your planning to a brief time say once or twice a week at best and not just before ‘the game.’
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By Doodlestuff on Nov 19, 2009
Your really lucky, those that are involved harp on the cost of
things, pick colors that are horrific together, stomp all over the
brides vision, want no frills and fluff, think decor is too costly,
pick football food, etc.
Plan the wedding, and he will love being surprised by the details
and in awe. That day he will thank you for creating a wonderful
wedding for both of you and he will be relieved he did not have
to put together a color combination, visit a hobby store, or
make a decision.
Look at the site below, they are helping me. They can be your
silent partner!
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http://www.myeventshrink.com/Home_Page.html
By LiveLife on Nov 19, 2009
very few men contribute you want to get his attention mention something that will grab his attention like mention music he hates
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By thedreamweaverwolf on Nov 19, 2009